And so we come to some of the members of the audience, who goaded by me and with the example set by Bob Miller, who, quite by coincidence, I'm sure, had his own fan club in the audience, came up and joined in the fun.
Duncan:
“I don't know if any of you have seen that movie called K2. It showed scenes of a town that we went to called Saidu. Now Saidu has the privilege of being set in the Himalayas. It's about 26 miles from base camp for K2 and it's at 2, 200metres above sea level. So, it's higher than Kosiosko. The mountains around it are around about another 2000 metres. Some of the peaks actually get up to four and a half thousand metres and some are at the four thousand metre mark.
Well, we hopped on this plane from Islamabad and we flew with Pakistan International Airlines - PIA. Now it is said that PIA also stands for “Please Inform Allah”. So, there we were flying along at 9000 metres and we're in the air about an hour, when we fly past Nanga Parbut. Now I'm sure there's a few scholars of Urdu here – Nanga Parbut means Bald Head and Bald Head is over 8,105 metres high. Here we are in this 737 at 9000 metres with a mountain just out there. And if anyone doesn't believe me, I've got the photos to prove it. The mountains are just out there!! Then, the pilot says, “If you'd like to come up to the cockpit, we've got a very clear view of K2”. So, out I get with the camera and race up to the cockpit and take a photograph of K2, out through the front windscreen of the aircraft – fantastic! And then the pilot says, “Look, you'll have to return to your seat, we're about to make our final approach.” I thought, “Good grief! We're at 9000 metres and he says were going to make our final approach! I've got to get back and put my seatbelt on!” So I raced back to my seat and he was not joking!
 The valley below us is at 2200 metres. We're at 9000 metres and down we go. We fly over the top of the valley, get to the end of it and do a loop. We then, drop into the valley at 4000 metres. Steepest descent I've ever been in, in a 737.
I thought, “Well, I hope this pilot knows what he's doing.”
We did a turn at the end and came back, passed the mountain in the middle again, did another figure of eight and round we went again. By this stage, he'd slowed the descent down somewhat. We're around about 3000 metres. We come back to the end of the valley again, which means we've done three figures of eight to get down into this valley and I think, “Oh well, he'll make the final turn and down we'll go!” Silly me! The guy flying the plane must have been an ex-fighter pilot!
Well, I've taken photographs out of the window. We've got a lovely window seat. Beautiful photographs of these beautiful mountains and I thought, “will I take anymore?” and I thought, “No, I've got enough, I'll take some more when we're on the ground.” Just as well, because as I was looking out the window, the mountains suddenly disappeared and there was blue sky.
The pilot has dropped the plane in a side-slip, which for a 737 is a pretty frightening thing. The plane's just “sssshffftttt” down out of the sky. He levels it up - the nose wheel is still down and the nose hits the ground. Then the landing gear hits the ground. And then it's full brakes and everybody's bashing their heads on the seats in front.
And for those of you, who do fly, you'll know that at the end of the runway, there's a sort of zebra crossing thing painted on the tarmac. That's to tell the pilot that it's a “No Go” area. That you're running out of runway fast! Well, he chucks a wheelie at the end of the runway and that thing slips underneath the plane as he pulls it up. We thought, “well, thanks be to Allah that we are down” and we all get off the plane and go to our hotel.
Now, I had noticed when I went up to the cockpit, that there were some Americans in first-class. Who else would fly first-class when you don't get served any meals, let alone alcohol! All you get is a fine little pastry on a plate in first-class and you get to open your own bottle of mineral water!. Anyway, they're there, staying in our hotel and I asked one of them “What did you think of the flight?” And this bloke said to me “Did you notice the Pakistani sitting next to me?” and I said, “Yeah.” “Well” he said, “he was assessing the pilot, to see whether or not he was capable of landing at that airport!”
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Duncan, from the audience of one of the “Swag of Yarns” shows at the 1995 Illawarra Folk Festival at Jamberoo NSW.
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